How to engage with fear

Worries, anxiety and fear. The fear that says don’t step into the world. Hide. Don’t reveal yourself to others and maintain the status quo.

What might fear be trying to communicate with us? If it is an entity that wants to protect us then what might it be saying?

‘Don’t go into the world because you might be attacked.’

‘Hide what matters to you from him/her because they might not understand you.’

‘Only tell them what you think they want to hear or you’ll be mocked and laughed at.’

When we think of fear in these terms, paradoxically we can begin to see the love and care that is behind it.

So how are we to engage with it? The word ‘fearlessness’ is often used as a state that we are expected to be elevated towards. I don’t think true fearlessness exists, because it would have to go against the grain of what is inbuilt within us – the survival instinct and the need for safety instead of risk at times.

So, if we cannot attain fearlessness, then perhaps our task is more around being present with the sensation of fear whilst still being able to take those small steps towards acting upon our goals and desires. To connect to the adult part of ourselves that has the resources that the frightened child didn’t have access to at the time. Friendship, going out in nature, self-soothing, a hobby that revitalises the passion within and lets us know that we are enough as we are.

I have often found that when fear is telling me not to do something and yet I still show up – those become the moments when I become open to a more joyful aspect of my Spirit with deep insights and revelations because I have been prepared to step into that fire of transformation.

In psychosynthesis psychotherapy, we often talk about the different parts within us as sub-personalities and they are all vying to drive our bus. Every so often, we need to allow fear to be in the driving seat to help us gage our current situation. Yet, how would it be to begin to allow the more creative, vital life force parts of you to start to take over that steering wheel and to say ‘Fear, I see you, I love you, but I’m the one in control now.’